foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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