Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
