i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
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