I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
