when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
