I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
