Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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