I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
