I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
