I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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