I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
