I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
