North Korea, Best Korea!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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