i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
How external is "for external use only"?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
