dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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