You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
