Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
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I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
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I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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