she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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