I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
high people should be assigned attendants
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
