no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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