aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize