why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
