Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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