Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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