Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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