Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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