So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
