Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you didnt know i had herpes?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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