you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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