some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
