We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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