Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Blood and glitter go together right?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
