It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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