Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
