I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I need water and some morals
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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