there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
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He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
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Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize