Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
