I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
