I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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