What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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