do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He better not be in your backpack
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
