im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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