I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
