ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
