you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
