I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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