He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize