Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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