Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Randomize
