belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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