I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
