Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
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he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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