I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
