Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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