This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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