I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
