When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize