People in love make me want to vomit
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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