I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
and she was petting her beer can
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
