i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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