i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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