After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
